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Lilly’s Losers

November 2nd, 2017

Hall County High School Football

The playoff picture is starting to take shape all around the county, and it looks like Hall County will be well represented this year. Last week Coach Gruhn’s Lions were made into a fireplace rug up in Towns County. Lotti’s Lads played a good game, but a good White County team extinguished the Hot Gates. The Sky Blues down in Johnson were valiant and brave Knights as usual, but they could not stop the Jags of Cedar Shoals. Chestatee traveled down to the posh Marist school and gave them a good game but were denied in the end.  The ever-improving Mean of Summer from the North Nation came out and beat up the once fearsome Vikings of East Hall. Finally, the Red Elephants blew out a scrappy Apalachee team on Homecoming night at City Park.

Posted by Buttermilk:

East Hall VS. Fannin County

The horn heads of the East will get a visit from the extreme north county of Fannin this week. The men of fur have been beaten and battered, but they will not have a problem taking out the road-weary, PC troubled, Rebels of Fannin. This game will be a blowout.

Lilly’s Loser- Fannin County

 

Lakeview Academy VS Riverside Military Academy

This battle of Hall County Academies will be staged on a track at the top of Riverside Drive. The cadets will look to ambush the Gruhn kitty cats and maintain the high ground. Both teams are in need of a swift and decisive win, and it appears that the jarheads have the better team. This will be a close one.

Lilly’s Loser- Lakeview Academy

 

West Hall VS. Blessed Trinity Catholic

Coach Lotti will have to have his Greek men ready to defend against a Roswell rosary down in Oakwood, Friday night. The nuns and the Pope will be praying for a blessed win over another Hall County team. The Spartans are well coached and very tough, they will not be able to handle the holy rollers on Friday night.

Lilly’s Loser- West Hall

 

Gainesville VS. Lanier

This game is a battle for second place in the region and the right to host a playoff game. So, the steers will be looking to hook ‘em and cook ‘em some Red Elephant meat. However, the Reds have come together and are on a mighty stampede heading into this game. All of yall should come out to the game and eat you some real good Lanier prime steaks on game night. They will be plenty to go around when the Elephants get through with the other school in Buford.

Lilly’s Loser- Lanier

 

Johnson VS. Loganville

I drove by the Limestone Parkway intersection and saw the Johnson Football team selling donuts two weeks ago. Those young men were working hard, and they sure do work hard on the football field. I would love to finally pick them to win a game, but I just can’t this week. Sad!

Lilly’s Loser- Johnson

 

Flowery Branch VS. Buford

The winner of this South Hall battle will come in first place in the region. So, the wolf pack from Buford will be looking to feast on some bird meat. However, the Branch has been a mighty cast of hunters themselves this year.  This battle of the beasts will not be advised for children and those with weak hearts. In the end, there will be fur and feathers all over the field, but the furry beast will leave blooded but victorious.

Lilly’s Loser- Flowery Branch

 

College Football

By gosh! Georgia beat Florida! I have been so conditioned to a loss every year I still can’t believe it. There was a great comeback by the Brutus and his band of Buckeyes over the kitty cats of Penn State. The Riflemen of Tennessee completed another miraculous hail mary pass to end the game, but the catch was only made on the three-yard line and they lost to the crazy cats of Kentucky. The boys from Pickens South Carolina are back in the top four after they exterminated some nats from Georgia Tech, and Notre Dame is in at number three after betting a good pack of wolves from N C State.

Posted by the Bookkeeper:

Quarterback Brenden Motley and his Motley crew are heading into the eye of the storm this weekend when they play Miami. The problem for him is that the Hurricanes are unbeaten under the leadership of a former Athens, Georgia kennel keeper and have no plans to let a team with a made-up name take away their thunder.  However, the Hokies are the first real landfall for the U whose luck is about to make a U-turn.

Lilly’s loser in a close one-Miami

 

Posted by the Jungle Cat:

Auburn @Arkansas

As Percy always tell me. “Son, never count out your cousins from Auburn.” Ever since the head feline, Gus Malzahn, from the “Loveliest Village on the Plains,” lost his Dick Tracy offensive decoder ring in Red Stick he has managed to once again get his Tigers to change stripes. Before the most wonderful time of the year, football season is over these cats could ruin some other teams’ (Athens & Tuscaloosa) dreams.

The head “pork puller” from Wal-Mart Land, coach Bret, is working his packing house production line overtime to salvage the season and his own proverbial fat from the fire. Word has it that cousin Bill and Hillary have been called in to help.

Lilly’s Loser- Arkansas

LSU at Alabama

Coach Drano Voice takes his Bayou Bengals to visit Darth Saban and “The Dark Side…The Crimson Tide.” In T-town they like to say, “The Tide don’t lose in Baton Rouge.” Or Tuscaloosa for that matter. After stumbling a couple of times this year, the kitty cats from Red Stick seem to have regained some of their Mo-Jo. Since relocating to the Capstone, coach Darth Saban is 9-1 against his former employers.

Lilly’s Loser: LSU 

Posted by the Presbyterian Padre

Clemson vs. NC State:

The 4th-ranked Pickens County Cats take their 7-1 record to the hostile confines of Carter-Finley Stadium Saturday to tangle with the Raleigh Stray Dogs of NC State.  The 20th-ranked Pack is coming off a 35-14 loss to Notre Dame, and who can forget their narrow loss to Clemson last year in Death Valley?  Dabo’s boys that’s who!  Raleigh has a tendency to give the Tigers fits, but there’s too much at stake this week.  It will be close, but unless Kelly Bryant finds a way to get hurt, the Tigers will take it in the end.

Lilly’s Losers- NC State

 

Wake Forest vs. Notre Dame:

The Leprechauns from Notre Dame are coming off another impressive win last week that has them ranked 3rd in the land.  The Irish better not take the preaching Deacons from Winston-Salem lightly.  They have the players to make it interesting in the shadow of Touchdown Jesus, but they don’t have enough.

Lilly’s Losers:-Wake Forest 

Posted by Buttermilk:

The blue and orange men of Onondaga County will roll that round mascot down to the reservation to take on FSU. The men with spears and feathers have been pathetic this year causing their coach to want to fight their own fans. Look for the Italian named city boys to roll up some significant offensive numbers and scalp the red-faced, as in embarrassing, Seminoles for a big win. We hope our good friend Brandi is pleased with her Orangemen this weekend.

Lilly’s Loser- Florida State.

Lilly’s Losers is in honor of Leonard Postero who created the original Leonard’s Losers. Many fans, to this day, love the wit and humor of his football prognostications.These musing are just for fun during the high school and NCAA football seasons.

Also, we will miss our friend Shaw Carter. He was a better man than all of us!

The team:

Buttermilk- John N. Lilly III (UGA)

Jungle Cat- JC Smith (Alabama)

The Bookkeeper- Rusty Hopkins (West Bromwich Albion)

Presbyterian Padre- Pastor Stacey Cox (Clemson)

A.D. Winston (Gainesville High School)

Raymond James is not affiliated with Hall County High School Football, NCAA Football or any of the teams named herein.  Opinions expressed are those of the authors and are not necessarily those of Raymond James.

 

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