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Lilly’s Losers

August 29th, 2017

 

      Hall County High School Football

Week one of high school football had lots of points on the score boards! Lakeview looked good beating East Jackson, and West Hall won big in the battle of Oakwood. Flowery Branch went 1-0 while sending North Hall to a dismal 2-0 record on the season. East Hall put up more points than they gave up in beating Chestatee and the Red Elephants were just not that good against Alpharetta.

 

Gainesville VS. Clarke Central

The Pachyderms got their tusks clipped last week, and they will have to travel down to The Classic City this week. The ancient Rome combatants will want to please the home crowds just like the olden time in the Colosseum. Look for the men of Hall to stand firm against all the wild battles and spectacles that will be on display to defeat them. Lilly’s loser, in a close one, Clarke Central.

 

Lakeview VS. Athens Academy

The Lions devoured their prey last week and will travel to Sparta land to try and lay siege to Athens Academy. The Lions will roar, and they will be on the hunt for prey with ice man Coach Gruhn leading the charge. However, the Greek gods will not smile down on the fighting felines this week. Sparta will withstand the siege and send the kitties back to the deserts. Lilly’s Loser- Lakeview

 

West Hall VS. Washington-Wilkes

Ex Clayton County man Tony Lotti will heat up the Hot Gates once again and try to ambush the speedy stripped carnivores in another battle in Sparta land. The champions of Oakwood are now battle tested and ready to take on the team from way down in South Georgia. The heat will be intense, and the Lotti Lads will once again fight hard to defend the home turf. However, the speed of the cats will prove to be too much, and the Hot Gates will go cold. Look for Sparta to fall. Lilly’s Loser West Hall.

 

Johnson VS. Banks County

These two teams are in desperate need of a win. The sky blue knights will leave the dungeon, and go on the hunt for some leopard spots. While on the hunt the crafty big cats will lay wait in the high grass to pounce as the knight ride by. Although the shiny knights will look mean and play hard. The spotted felines will prove to be too good to be hunted down. Lilly’s Loser Johnson.

 

Chestatee VS. Flowery Branch

The Sardis war birds will fly south to take on the other mighty birds of prey nesting in Spout Springs. New coach Ben Hall will look for his first home win at Falcons Field. But, the war birds lost some feathers last week, and they want to start soaring once again. This bird battle may be too close to call, but the home team will have a slight advantage. Lilly’s Loser- Chestatee

 

 

       College Football

 

 

Posted by the Bookkeeper:

Florida v. Michigan

 

Jim Harbaugh’s skunk bears are traveling to Gainesville this weekend to drain Smiling John McElwain’s shaky swamp. The Florida coach is still undecided about which quarterback has the teeth to lead his sunbathers into battle.  Considering the Michigan’s formidable defense, it is really a matter of which lizard he wants skinned first.  The Wolverines are going to knock his crocs off. Lilly’s Loser in a walk – Florida.

 

Posted by the Jungle Cat:

Alabama VS. Florida State

As Keith Jackson, “The Voice of College Football used to utter, “Whoa Nellie. The big ugly’s are ready to hit some one besides themselves.”

There are countless are countless story lines about the latest “Games of the Century,” Florida State and Alabama,

– Student vs. Teacher…Indian tribe chief Jimbo Fisher and against his former boss, Darth Saban, and the Crimson Tide.

– Both schools send more players to the NFL than chickens that pass through The Poultry Capital of the World

– Arthur Blank gets to show off his new football emporium even though the roof still needs a feel shingles

– If you plan on attending the game, plan on cashing in your pension and selling off your first two grandchildren.

– These two juggernauts have played four times with Darth Saban’s bullies holding a 2-1-1 edge

Extra factoids: The first game was played 50 years ago, featured Snake Stabler for the Tide and Fred Biletnikoff for FSU and ended in a 37-37 tie.

In 1974 the Seminoles, coached by Darrell Mudra, came to Tuscaloosa with the nation’s longest losing streak. Coach Bryant’s nationally ranked Crimson Tide escaped with 8-7 win on Bucky Berrey’s last play field goal.

 

Uncle Bubba from Ozark, AL taught me at an early age that more football games are won because of the kicking game rather than how good an offense our defense might be. With that said masseur Francois cancels out “A world of Hurt from T-town, ” and the defenses are both great great. It comes down to who kicks the pig bladder better, the native Americans from Tallahassee or the pachyderms from “The Evil Empire in Tuscaloosa.”

 

Lilly’s loser in close one… Burt Reynolds and Lee Corso’s alma mater, Florida State.

 

Posted by the Jungle Cat:

Georgia VS. Appalachian State

It’s the opening game of the second season for head football tutor Kirby Smart and his red and black canines. Coach Kirby has decided to open the 2017 campaign with the mountain climbers from the Sun Belt Conference. Head pigskin coach for the Mountaineers, Scott Satterfield, has reminded his lads that it was only 10 years ago when Appalachian State traveled to Ann Arbor and upset the maize and blue of Michigan in a season-opener. Coach Kirby is also telling his canines the same story and not to look ahead to the Fighting Shamrocks in two weeks.

The backpackers from Boone, North Carolina will come into the Classic City with a big chip on their shoulder because of a lack of respect from a Power 5 conference team. Coach Kirby remembers all too well that his canines lost games they shouldn’t have last year (reference Vanderbilt & Tennessee) and played Louisiana Compass University way too close. The folks at Butts-Mehre that stroke the checks have never heard of Job and patience.

This one may be close for a while, but Kirby’s Dogs when in a walk.

Lilly’s Loser: Appalachian State

 

Posted By A D Winston:

Georgia Tech VS. Tennessee

The orange riflemen of Knoxville take on the big city stingers of the ATL in the Chick-fil-A classic. The Vols just cracked the top 25 preseason poll, and they will look to march higher with a victory over the black and yellow striped nats.  There will be a lot of stingers, but Sargent Carter’s men will stomp on the jackets nest. Lilly’s loser Georgia Tech.

 

Posted by Presbyterian  Padre:

Clemson vs. Kent State:

The Golden Flashes of Kent State travel into the hostile confines of Death Valley to tangle with the Pickens County Felines Saturday.  Dabo’s boys are the reigning National Champs and they like the view from the top of mountain!   The Tiger D is hungry so expect Wilkins and the Gang to treat the Golden Flashes like a bag of Golden Flakes.  This one could get nasty in hurry. Lilly’s Losers: Kent State.

 

VT vs. WVU:

Back in 1861, the men of western Virginia decided they’d rather not be considered Virginians.  Thus began a backyard feud that lingers to the present.  Saturday they will look to tangle again as the Gobblers from VT square off against the Morgantown Mountain Men.   Someone needs to let John Denver’s posse know there’s no need to grab a couch and gasoline this week.  It’s going to be a long bus ride home down those country roads.  Lilly’s Losers: WVU.

 

 

Lilly’s Losers is in honor of Leonard Postero who created the original Leonard’s Losers. Many fans, to this day, love the wit and humor of his football prognostications.

These musing are just for fun during the high school and NCAA football season.

Also, we will miss our friend Shaw Carter. He was a better man than all of us!

 

The team:

Buttermilk- John N. Lilly III

Jungle Cat- JC Smith

The Bookkeeper- Rusty Hopkins

Presbyterian Padre- Pastor Stacey Cox

 

 

 

 

Raymond James is not affiliated with Hall County High School Football, NCAA Football or any of the teams named herein.  Opinions expressed are those of the authors and are not necessarily those of Raymond James.

 

 

 

 

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