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Lilly’s Losers

September 21st, 2017

       HALL COUNTY HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL

Week four went as expected and the little-upset bug was nowhere to be found on any football field. The Sardis war birds put an end to the Lumpkin County war dance, and East Hall once again conquered new lands down in Jackson County. The Lotti Lads of West Hall are on a roll after a good win up in unawesome Dawsonville. While Flowery Branch did it best to slay the dragons but came up a little short for Coach Hall’s homecoming. Finally, the Northern Nation of North Hall put up a good fight but could not beat their dreaded rival White County.

 

Posted by Buttermilk:

Gainesville VS. Jefferson

The dragons will swoop down into City Park and try to Barbeque some elephants for dinner on Friday night. The red herd is getting healthy on both sides of the ball, but it will not be enough to thwart the ancient beasts. The fire-breathers will be too hot to handle, and City Park will be an elephant graveyard. Come out and eat some elephant BBQ!

Lilly’s Loser- Gainesville

 

North Hall VS. Fannin County

The Green Greeks will look to get their first win over the P. C. mascot troubled Rebels at the Brickyard. Both teams have struggled this season, but this game will be a competitive all night long. Look for the Mean Green to be back, if only for one night, and ready to send the Rebs back into the hills of North Georgia.

Lilly’s Loser- Fannin County

 

Chestatee VS. Habersham Central

There will be a flock of marron and silver angry birds flying over Habersham County looking for a fight. Unfortunately, they will find one with the marauders in orange and blue. The country boys like to hunt, and they will find this prey all too easy to slay.

Lilly’s Loser- Chestatee

 

Flowery Branch VS. Johnson

There will be more trouble in the kingdom of the south this week. The Sky Blues have to defend their land against a full bloom branch team. The flower children have grown up and are now a team to be feared.The knight will fight bravely, but this battle will be over before it even starts. In a blowout:

Lilly’s Loser- Johnson

 

West Hall VS. Raburn County

Coach Lotti will take his red-hot team up 365 to visit some crazy cats in the far North. These mountain men are big and bad, and they don’t like outsiders on their football field. I doubt the West Hall record or Hot Gates will matter much in this game because the team from Tiger will not be impressed at all. Sorry to disappoint Brook Davidson! In a good one:
Lilly’s Loser- West Hall

 

East Hall VS. Lumpkin County

The Norse team is on a rampage and opposing team better look out for the hammer of Thor. This game will be the Vikings getting off the boat, putting on their horn helmets, and the first TD will be the winning TD. In a blowout:

Lilly’s Loser- Lumpkin County

 

Lakeview Academy VS. Providence Christain

The kings of the jungle will play with heavy hearts this Friday. Coach Gruhn’s mom passed away this week, and the town of Gainesville will miss this beautiful woman! The Lions will be ready and waiting for the possibility of a storm coming in from Lilburn. However, one might roar will be enough to earn the victory. The Lions will win big in honor of Mrs. Gruhn!

Lilly’s Loser- Providence Christain

 

.College Football

The Slobber Dawgs of UGA looked like pit bulls against puppies from Samford. Tom Hermans’s cattle looked much better against the team from lower Los Angeles. There was a snooze fest, and one good heave downfield the field for a UT rifleman win. The liver spot dogs of Miss. State chewed up the squeaky toy that was LSU. The fighting felines from Pickens South Carolina looked and played like the best team in the country, and the weak gold dome Irish got a win against the lowly Jesuit school from Boston.

 

Posted by the Jungle Cat:

Auburn @ Missouri

Speaking of felines, Coach Gus Malzahn takes his Auburn Tigers, aka Plainsmen aka War Eagles head west to face the Missouri Tigers this weekend. Missouri’s Tigers have shown some degree of offensive life this year. When it comes to stopping the opposing team’s offense Missouri’s defense has been like a submarine with screen doors. Auburn’s defense, led by coordinator Kevin Steele, will have a game plan that shut down the “Show Me” offense from Mizzou.

 

Lilly’s Loser: Missouri

Alabama @ Vanderbilt

Darth Saban takes his Evil Empire to Music City this week to visit Admiral Derek Mason, and his seafarer’s in the first conference game for both clubs. Admiral Mason and his mariners have raised a few eyebrows with their 2016 season and a 3-0 start this year. Searching through Davey Jones locker, we see that the last time that the Commodores beat the Tide was 48 years ago, 1969 when Watson Brown quarterbacked the sailors. Your author was in the 10th grade.

Mike Bobo’s sheep from Colorado State only lost by 18 points to the Crimson Tide and showed that Alabama has weaknesses. This is not Darth Saban’s first square dance at the Grand Ole Opry and will make the necessary nautical adjustments. The Evil Empire covers the 21 point spread.

 

Lilly’s Loser: Biltmore Estate 

Posted by A. D. Winston

Georgia VS. Mississippi State

These two teams will face off in the battle of the Bulldogs. Both teams are undefeated, so blood will be shed, maroon or red. Georgia still has the freshman passer which will test their bite in their first SEC matchup of the year. State blew away the striped big cats of Baton Rouge last week, so the liver spot bulldogs are ready for another W this week. However, Lilly’s Loser will always be the team playing Georgia.

Lilly’s Loser- Mississippi State

 

Posted by the Bookkeeper:

OSU v TCU

There’s going to be a showdown at Oklahoma State this Saturday when Pistol Pete and the 6th ranked Cowboys face TCU and the annual amphibian invasion. But this year’s toads are ranked 16, are unbeaten, and have a defense that’s stingier than a Democrat at a charity auction. They’re planning revenge for the frog stompin’ they got in 2016. This should be a contest between two top quarterbacks with straight shooter Mason Rudolph and Jumpin’ Jeremy Hill both wanting to own this green acre, but unfortunately for Hill, the frogs will croak before sundown

  Lilly’s loser: TCU

 

Posted by Andy Bracewell (Feeling in for the Bookkeeper next week)

Florida @ Kentucky

The Gators and their beaver of a football coach are riding high after giving the Vols a dose of their own medicine in last week’s dramatic finish. They are also riding a current THIRTY GAME win streak over the Kentucky Wildcats, which even predates the Spurrier era. However, evidenced by Michigan’s total dismantling of the Gators in week 1, the shark lover’s team has some glaring issues, particularly on offense, that will be too difficult to overcome. RB Benny Snell Jr. has a huge game as he and Mark Stoops end this incredible streak.

 

Lilly’s Loser: Gators

Lilly’s Losers is in honor of Leonard Postero who created the original Leonard’s Losers. Many fans, to this day, love the wit and humor of his football prognostications.

These musing are just for fun during the high school and NCAA football season.

Also, we will miss our friend Shaw Carter. He was a better man than all of us!

 

The team:

Buttermilk- John N. Lilly III (UGA)

Jungle Cat- JC Smith (Alabama)

The Bookkeeper- Rusty Hopkins (West Bromwich Albion)

Presbyterian Padre- Pastor Stacey Cox (Clemson)

A. D. Winston (Gainesville High School)

 

Raymond James is not affiliated with Hall County High School Football, NCAA Football or any of the teams named herein.  Opinions expressed are those of the authors and are not necessarily those of Raymond James.

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